if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

poop is very very yummy.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

Yo Momma is so fat that she is heavier than most other women her age

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

A man walks into a bar.....he then slips on an ice-cube and suffers massive trauma due to the fall. The owner is sued by the mans family and subsequently loses his business. He can no longer provide for his family. His wife is two weeks away from giving birth to their third child.

Loner.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a registered six affender.

Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...