there are three types of people in this world, those who can't count, and those who can. STFU, you corny loser

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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What did the boy say after smoking weed for the first time? -"I don't really feel anything" and his friends explained that is sometimes the case for a first time smoker.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and says: "Doctor! Doctor! You gotta help me! One day I'm a teepee, and the next day I'm a wigwam, and then the next day I'm a teepee, and then the next day I'm a wigwam again. The doctor says: Sir, we've been over this 100 times! You have stage 4 pancreatic cancer...

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops