hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

What do you get for the man that has everything already? Another one.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's usually in a good mood.

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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