How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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Why did the guy fall into the ocean? He was surfing

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why was the little boy bald? Because he had leukaemia

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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