Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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