What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? More than 6.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

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What's the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The anti-Joke isn't a freaking joke. So stop freaking doing it!

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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