"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was shot in the head. Plus the fact that it was his first attempt on a bike made it highly unlikely to succeed anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why dont i play socker because im not waering socks

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I have a really funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops