I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Only steers and queers come from Texas and i dont see any horns on you so what does that mean? It means I am not a Minotaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops