69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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why wouldn't the man's car work? because it was broken.

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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