A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

You know what's a real drag? A club foot

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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