What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

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why do you park in the driveway and drive on the park way

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what did the little boy say to his sibling? dat not funny!

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How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actually planned to visit his family on the other side, but unfortunately he did not look both ways so was involved in a terrible car accident. His family now mourns their loss.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Two People go To Africa They have a lovely time they come home then go to Miami Florida after Florida they decide to go to germany sadly there was a plane crash and the two men fell into a pit of acid.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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