How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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