What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

Why did anna stop wanting to build a snowman? Beacuse she died of cancer.

Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Cripples are lame.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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