Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, That's what they tell me because I'm blind.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Do you like fishsticks? Yes I personally think they are high in saturated fats, but to each his own Oh I thought you were asking if I was homosexual

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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