Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because his hands were amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops