Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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I am a mime

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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