Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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What did the black man say before he went to sleep? im going to sleep

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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Whats better than 32 dead babies stapled to 1 tree? - 1 dead baby stapled to 32 trees

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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