"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Death by kayak

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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