Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

My spelling is horrible

Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

Remember when Jesse Ziegenbein was skinny? yeah niether do I

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

How old are you? 7

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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