One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops