A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, horse, we don't serve your kind here." The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse," says the bartender, "I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out. 10 minutes later, the horse returns. "Hey horse, are you deaf? I said we don't serve your kind here!" The horse turns around and walks out, knocking over a stool with his tail.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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knock knock come in

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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