Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Andoni was here

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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