hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

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A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops