Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Andoni was here

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops