What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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