what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Knock knock Who's there? To To whom? No, its To Who now, since I married

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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