Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What did the man say to th tiger? Nothing, a tiger is a dangerous and vicious animal. It then ripped him to pieces. Is family mourned after for a very long time till they came to grips with the death of the main income in their family. Aids

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Three men walked into a bar the other one ducked. SI

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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Why did the monk shave his head? So he's more aerodynamic.

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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