roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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