Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

what did the philosopher say, when he considered the transient nature of life in relation to ones own personal and egocentric grasp upon circumstance and purpose? massive erection.

"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

autistic kids rock

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

Here come the elephants over the hill!

Little Johnny was walking through the park... only he had no legs. Little Johnny was raped later that day... while he bled out from him having his legs cut.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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