If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why can a black man beat a white man in basketball? They are generally better at basketball Why cant a black man beat a KKK member in basketball? He valued his life and didnt want to die

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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A black guy and a Mexican are sitting in a car who's driving??? The Cops

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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