What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Why did the communist fail his history class? Because he didn't study hard enough.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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