Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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