A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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