What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Gustavo Andrade

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A house comes around the corner.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops