Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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A young boy walked into a hardware store and asked for a long weight. Luckily, the shop owner was kindly and brought the child up to speed on the process of hazing.

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops