what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -19

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q. What happened to the dog when he was kick in the privates? A. Nothing he was neutered a year ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you know that there is a species of rodent capable of jumping higher than an average three-story building? This is due to its muscular hind legs and the fact that the average three-story building cannot jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if you can read this you dont' need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops