How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Your mums a potato

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What's long hard and full of seamen? A boat, or possibly a submarine.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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Jebron Lames.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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