Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Q: What's worse than tripping down the stairs in front of a crowd of people? A: The bombing of Hiroshima

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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