Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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lol

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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find the o 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duh its up top

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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why did the plane crash ? Because a loaf of brad was flying it, and Loaves of bread don't fly planes

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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What did the mother do when she found out the baby was stillborn? Gave it a proper burial, grieved for months and became a shell of her former self.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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