An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Ask me if im a truck. Are you a truck? Yes.

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Vagina Boob

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why did the retarted kids head get stuck in the window? It was a very small window

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why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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