Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

When life throws knives at you, run away.

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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