A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Mahmy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

thumb_up thumb_down -23

i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops