What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Micheal Curran...that is all.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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like if your cool

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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