What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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