There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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What's another word for Manslaughter? My new Hobby

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Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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