The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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24

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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guess what? bannanas

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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