A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Ross.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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wat do u say to a guy with a 3.5 cm choad wats hot tater tot

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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