what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -1

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

yo mama is so fat she has more body mass than a skinny person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy at a baseball game....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats long and red all over? This Cut on my arm, i should get it checked out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The government

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama so dirty when she takes baths there are rings.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I Couldn't afford a hair cut... so i purpposely contracted HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the airplane crash into the ocean? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops