How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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How many anti jokes can you make from one joke? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. And so on.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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