A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike they both taste good

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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