How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Screw it you write the joke.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So it could cause traffic accidents.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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