What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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How many Jews foes it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1...like... I'm confused that you... I mean screwing in a lightbulb isn't that hard.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue if something smells bad, its gotta be you! Roses are red this much is true but violets are purple not f***ing blue!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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