A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

KNOCK KNOCK WHOSE THERE? AVOCADO AVOCADO WHO AVOCADO COLD THAT'S A RETARD JOKE HAHAHAHAHA GOOD 1

What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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