What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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