What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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