What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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123 f*ck off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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