Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. I don't know, why? A. I asked first.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What did the boy eat for breakfast? Food

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What's the difference between a baby and my trampoline? I take my boots off before i jump on my trampoline. . .

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What did Ann Frank say when she dropped her icecream Nothing because she was captured by Natzis

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? It entered a KFC and had the unfortunate suprise of having its head cut off.

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Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Two men are fighting in a boxing match. One gets punched in the crouch, cries, and goes home to watch "The Simpsons".

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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