when life gives you lemons you make lemonade when life gives you a homisidle brige you clearly have done something to make life angery

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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What did Santa say when he fell down? Ouch

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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If a bunch of midgets do the wave, is it a ripple ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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