Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Knock Knock B: Who's There? Person B came down with a serious case of amnesia that day and can't remember who anyone is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a dyslexic man walked his god.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops