How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

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A young baby died.

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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