what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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well use a tissue!

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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