How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

thumb_up thumb_down -21

ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is this joke funny It isn't

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops