Im taking a shit right now.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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What is Brown And Sticky ? ......... a Stick

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Yellow People !!

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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