What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Guess what What

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Kill her family.

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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