"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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