Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama all found a magical lamp. The Genie appeared and said, "I will grant one wish for all of you, and one wish only." Bill wished to become president. The other two thought that would be pretty cool and did the same. (ic3)

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What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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