How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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