Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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