A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Your mother is so retarded. How retarded is she? Very retarded.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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What's the difference between an elephant & a toaster? ....you can't tell the difference between an elephant & a toaster??

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops