Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

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There's my tractor.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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My friends new nickname is hawk-eye! He is a jackass...

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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9/11

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Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

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a man walk into a bakery, he sais... may i have a loaf of bread....

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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