Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Why did lil' Jenny fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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deez nuts

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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