Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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69

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from a Black family reunion.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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