So a penguin walks into a bar. Penguin's have been affected by global warming so much that they decide to drink away as they near their final hours.

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

Who cured cancer? Not God. What do you think of the almighty now?

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

Why was 13 afraid of 27 Because 51 had an extra penis

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

Two men walk into a bedroom. Did I mention they were gay?

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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