Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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"I vant to blood your suck!" warned Darcula.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a florist.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops