"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Some wild chickens have regular seasonal migration patterns that might require them to cross a road while traveling south. Wild chicken movements include those made in response to changes in food availability, habitat or weather.

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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hi jonny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What`s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff What did the banana say to the ear? Hello

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops