A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

God and Allah are having a metaphysical picnic, God says to his fellow deity: "Why do you think so many humans have been killed in our names?" Allah muses upon this for a moment and replies: "Because they think we exist."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops