How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Dwarf Shortage

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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