What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...