Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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Yo mama is so fat because she doesn't exercise and eats way too much calories. The reason fat people gain weight is because of low metabolism which means her body is not burning a lot of fat and instead is storing fat. A healthy life style such as playing sports, walking in a park, or eating healthy foods will benefit her from any medical complications in the future.

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A black guy, a Jew and a Mexican walked into a bar...so I didn't....not because of their race but because I had already spent all of my money at the gay bar.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Life is like a bridge. You get walked on all your life until you fall apart.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops