Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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